The long awaiting short break...

Finally, the long awaiting weekend break was here. Both DD and I need this break to relax our mind and put everything aside. Our mini getaway started on Fri (18/9). My DD came pick me up around 10.30am and I brought him to one of my favourite place for lunch - The Amoy Market. The place has lots of good food and is only opened till 1pm for most stalls. We had the "wan tan" noodles which I highly recommended. He loves it a lot. I also gotten my favourite muffins. I always find it so happy when I see my DD enjoying his food. :-)


After that, we went to Vivocity to run some simple errands, bought some beer and drinks before went check-in to the Siloso Beach Resort. We check-in to the resort around 1pm. Being the 1st time to the resort, my DD said that the place was nice. Good that he liked the place. Phew!! We didn't do much at Sentosa because it was raining on Fri and Sat. But we did take the opportunity to take a walk around Sentosa (since my DD haven't been to Sentosa for a long time) on Fri. We also went to the Underwater World, took the Luge ride and when the sun was out, we took a short break at the beach on Sat. The rest of the time, bascially we just eat and sleep, eat and sleep. A pig's life. It's good because it allowed us to relax our mind. Really happy that we were able to have this weekend getaway. Simple but worth it.


We checked out on Sun afternoon and went back to DD's place. Once again, relax at his place and watched a movie that night - The Ugly Truth. Really funny and there were some truth in what the male character said. Today (Mon), we went to DD's good friend ROM lunch. We spend our afternoon with his friends, talking and catching up. Overall, it was a great weekend. I am really glad that my DD is now relax and ready for new challenges again. :-)

Oh, another thing to be happy about is that I managed to have this serious talk with my DD in the car while he sent me home just now. A short but quality conversation about how I feel about things and there are still things I need to adjust about him and his character. I am glad that he understands what I mean and is willingly to work together with me. That is what being in a relationship is about - Working together to accept each other's flaws and continue to nourish the "love" that we have for each other.

There is only so much I can do.....

It's another weekend. Another weekend at home. Waiting for that someone special. The someone special has been busy with work. I have been trying my very best to understand and accommodating. Weekend is something that I always look forward, the only time of the week where quality time can be spent. Now it has become something that I hated. Hated the feeling of not knowing what to do. Hated the feeling of wasting my time. Hated to have the one-sided feeling. There is only so much I can do. The seed of love needs constant showering with nutrients, so that it can bloom beautifully.

Happy Thoughts

Found this from this website called "Happy Thoughts". http://www.happythoughts.com/

The name "HappyThoughts" comes from a synthesis of analogies:

Each of us is born with a little bag of time. . . it has a hole in the bottom and some time is always leaking out. Some of us spend it faster than do others, but when the bag is empty, your life is over. If we add up all of the moments in a life and divide them into good moments and bad moments, the life with the greater number of good moments was the good life.

We really don't have much choice in our lives. We might think we have much choice, but when we really stop and look at it, our choices are influenced by; our families, friends, our jobs, health, financial station as well as a variety of other limitations. Our obligations and responsibilities more often than not govern our choices. We are much like corks at sea, a victim of wind and wave as we travel through our lives. However, we always have one choice, that of attitude. We can think a happy thought, which often leads to another happy thought. . . and a chain of happy thoughts leads to a good day and perhaps a good life. Or we can think a negative thought, leading to another negative thought and more often than not, a negative day.

When we are living close to our "center", appreciation and enjoyment are at their highest level. It is a very comfortable state of mind to be in, and one most of us would prefer to be in given the choice. Sometimes we are "knocked off center" because of the problems and frustrations of daily life. . .and negative moments add up. A thought or word can "trigger" us into a better state of mind.

"Appreciate each moment of the life-time that you get and strive always to think Happy Thoughts."

Emotional Breakdown

It's 2am on a Monday morning. I had another emotional breakdown today. Parents problems. Dad has been returning home late at night and out in the middle of the night these few days. Mum is not happy about it and was angry. She cried in front of me. This is the 2nd time this year I saw her cried and made me really sad.

My parents have been having problems since 20 years ago. I have seen their problems grew bigger over the 20 years. Initially, being a young child, I was ignorant. Then when I get older, my mum complains to me every time when she is unhappy. I felt her pain, her sadness and her helplessness in this marriage. When I started working, I begin to desire for a happy family. Yet, I can't see it in mine. I begin to doubt if I ever will have a happy family. I begin to look at the problems in my family and took it upon myself. Whenever mum complains to me, I take it seriously and felt her helplessness. This adds stress on me and is also part of the reason why I had depression and emotional breakdown last year.

Today, when I saw my mum cried again, this was the last straw. I called up my Dad on his mobile phone and got both of them to talk to each other in front of me. My mum was angry, accusing him of making her unhappy all 20 yrs. My dad as usual, kept quiet and refuse to answer my mum (which makes her angrier). Finally, I cannot take it and broke down. Told them about my depression and told them how I felt these 20 yrs and how their marriage is affecting my vision of a marriage in the future and contribute to my depression.

The strong emotion come over me and I just cried in front of them. Told them that they may just drive me into mental breakdown and into IMH. They finally gave in. My dad apologised and my mum said she will forget the past. But I know that this is only a small step for them to give me. I am worried that my mum will stop telling me her feelings cause I told them that my breakdown is partly due to them. I don't want her to stop telling me things. In fact, I want to know what the both of them is thinking so that I can help them. I hope after today, my dad can listen to me more and my mum can give in to my Dad more.

Positive thing. I know my Dad dotes me a lot and he will listen to me more from now on. My mum starts to open up to me even more and I hope I can help her to remove her negative attitude towards my Dad. My mum told me about her illness and I am worried for her. Positive thing, I will try to source for another experience doc for her so that she won't need to go the Polyclinics where the doc. are young and inexperience.

It's a small step but at least I am trying my best. Even though my parents said I should not worried about their problems. The fact is that they are my parents no matter what and I have the responsibility to take care of them and their problems as much as I can. Don't forget as long as I have my DD to support me, I am sure I can overcome this no matter what. I can do this!! I am sure about that!!

Month of August The month of High and Low

It's almost a month. It has been a weird month for me. My mood has been going downwards. I am easy stressed up by the smallest things and my mood is affected easily. Mostly depressed mood. I have promised myself that this blog will record all the happy things in my life and I shall do that as far as I can.

The month of Aug. The happiest thing as far as I have done for this month is that I have celebrated my best friend, Weiliang's birthday. It was a simple dinner at the River View hotel with just the few of us (Mikey, Alvin, Jamie and me). It is always good to see them again and to be able to laugh together and crack the mindless jokes. Enjoyable. Funny. Relaxing. As usual, we will go for pool after that. The next day, we met up again and went for massage and fish spa. It was my first time getting a massage. I was nevous at first. I am glad I went for it because I like it eventually. Fish spa was really fun. The guys find it ticklish but I find it quite comfortable.

For the rest of the week in Aug, my mood went down drastically. One reason was probably DD was stressed up with his work and I don't want to give him additional stress. But it was hard for me cause by doing that, I felt that I have not been able to communicate to him properly as I have been giving in and listening to him all the time (one way communication). Gradually, I will tend to feel left out and not being able to get someone to understand. To make things even worst, on weekdays, I can't find anyone at work to talk to and back at home I have been listening to my mum's complaints and parent's problems. Feels like I can't convey any of my thoughts and feelings to anyone or to anything. All the negetive feelings gets bloated up inside me. Feels lonely, no one understands.

Lucky for me, I have my friends. Liwen, a gal who has been always able to provide a listening ear and my msn buddy, Friday to provide a listening "eyes" to read my complaints. And of course, my DD understands me when we spoke yesterday. I am happy and glad that for the past weeks, he has been accompanying me to the doc. despite his busy work. And he has also agreed to spend the long weekend in Sept with me at Bintan (something to look forward to).

I realised also that I need to find my passion and motivation again!!! Something for me to work towards to. Something that I feel strongly for and have to do it no matter what. I must take on this path to find my passion again, my confidence again. Else I will eventually let the "dark" emotions run over me.

Life still goes on no matter how low or how high I am. The sun still shines, the rain still falls. Today's sky is blue, with clouds like cotton and a occassional breeze. I am listening to my Jazz music now. Feeling more relax. A good way to enjoy my Saturday afternoon.

It's been a long time. Time really flies. It's end of July and August is arriving soon. More than half a year has gone. These past 8 months. I have learnt a lot about myself, learnt about acceptance, learnt about being truthful to myself and everyone else. Importantly, learnt to always appreciate small things in life.

It's has been a wonderful 8 months. Most importantly, everything that has happened in these 8 months, there is someone to share my experience with. I am lucky and really fortunate that my DD is always supporting me no matter what happen. He is not that perfect but it's the small things in life that he is doing for me that makes a difference. I don't need expensive branded bags or jewellery, or to have expensive meals at expensive hotels everyday. I came to realise that for the past 8 months, I have been spending time with DD every weekend, doing simple things like, watching a movie, going for a swim, going for lunch/dinner at hawker center, going for exhibition, going to parks, watching online movies at his place. Simple things like this and surprisingly I am not bored and I am still look forward to my weekend to spend with him. Whenever when I am with him, I feel relax, happy and safe. I am really blessed to have found a great person like him.

Oh! Something else to add. I had a great Melbourne trip with him. I am looking forward to Japan trip end of the year! Yippee!!!

Note: I am currently in the office, getting bored cause I have nothing to do now and decided to put some of my thoughts here. :-)

Cold War... But all ends well....

We had our first cold war. This weekend suppose to be special.

I have made a hotel booking at Changi Village Hotel and wanted to spend a relaxing weekend with my DD. We checked in on Sat afternoon, had buffet lunch and spend some time in the room before going to my company's family day. We spend a few hours at the family day event and proceeded back to hotel. I went for a swim while my DD bought a beer and sat by the pool to wait for me. The view at the pool was great (pity never had the chance to take some pictures). We can see planes coming in, to land at Changi airport, some distance away from the hotel. And further away, we could see the mountains from Indonesia and the sea. We went to changi village for dinner and had a nice walk at the beach.

Today (sun), we had a great sleep last night. Slept throughout the night and woke up late this morning. It was a relaxing morning. We prepared ourselves for lunch at 12 noon. However, I didn't realised, a small harmless joke can ruin our Sun. He was unhappy and I was upset. And we had cold war for 2 hrs. It was a long two hours. Lots of negetive emotions hit me. Oh well, next time I must be careful with my words.. Everything ends well after that, there is always a saying , when couple quarrel, they always kiss and make up. Usually it works. I just need to see this positively. And things will be fine and happy for us. :-)

Great Dinner at Lau Pat Sat

It's been near one month that I have not been blogging my happy thoughts. Well, here I am again. The past one month was really busy for me. Mainly work. But at the same time, I was still in my holiday mood, the experience that I had in Melbourne. Can't wait for my next holiday to come.

Today, something different. I went for my 1st GDO (Graduate Development Organisation) social gathering - in short, dinner gathering with the graduates engineers, at Lau Pat Sat. The turnout was not good, only around 8 of us. But it was my 1st time attending the event. It was fun, talking to the fellow graduates on a relaxing pace, enjoying the food and the hot weather. Haha. But overall I think it was fun and relaxing for me. I am a person who love to talk to people. And listens to their stories. So it was the right choice to go for this gathering and I should try to make it for these events. Some photos were taken and I hope they turn out well. Will wait for the fellow engineers to upload the photos on the server. Good dinner today. :-)

Hot and Humid Weekend

What a hot and humid weekend. The heat in the air is making me uncomfortable and just want to hide in air-conditioned place. The heat makes me grumpy too. Gosh, how I miss the weather in Melbourne. Sunny day and yet the weather is cooling and nice. Sitting under the sun feels comfortable and relaxing. Watching the seagulls along the river and enjoying the cooling breeze while admiring the view of Melbourne city. And of course my favourite is the seabreeze when I was at Great Ocean Road. The sound of the waves and the sea breeze blowing into my face are just so comfortable and relaxing. :-)

Back to reality, despite the hot and humid weather here, I had a good weekend with DD. We had movie marathon - watched Angels and Demons and The Night at Museum 2. Nice movies. And great way to avoid the heat. Just hide ourselves in the cinema! Hahaha! I really hope it will rain for next few days. This country really needs some rain to cool the place down.

A Great Holiday in Melbourne

Love my holiday in Melbourne!!! Relaxing and cooling!!! Love the sea and the sun. Love the farms with the sheeps and cows, Love the trees in the nature park, Love the seagulls, kangaroos, koalas, wallaby and best of all Penguins. Love the spectucular view of the Twelve Apostles. Love the towns that we stayed, passed by for lunch and for rest. Love the pastries. Love the cooling weather. Love the mountains and the waterfall.

Overall, I am really glad that I have this holiday. And I had the best sleep for the 9 days when I was in Melbourne. Time to get busy with my photos. :-D

Hot humid weekend.....

It was really a hot and humid week! The heat in the air is driving me crazy.

Friday was relaxing and happy. Had a great dinner with DD at Thomas Road, a western place. Not expensive. We had mushroom fritters, salad, steak and ribs. Dinner was relaxing and good.

On Saturday, DD went for tennis in the morning and we went out in the afternoon for haircut at his "aunt's" place located near SMU. The place was nice and spacious. His aunt was friendly and this is my DD's first time going accompanying gf to a hair saloon. I felt honoured to be his "first" one. We had late lunch at Raffles place, did a short walk from Raffles to Suntec (where he parked his car). We headed back to his house after that. I guess my DD must be too tired that day. And he kinna doze off while driving back home along the highway. Luckily I noticed that the car was swaying to the side and I shouted for him. He was shocked and managed to get the car back on track. However, as the car was swayed to close to the barrier, the car was scratched badly. Good thing is that both of us were safe. Though I was traumatise, I tried not to show out in front of him cause I don't want to make him feel even worse. That evening, DD was in a very bad mood. I can understand how he felt. He must have been thinking that I could have been hurt and also must be blaming himself. And also he must have been thinking that he needs to spend money to re-paint the car. I hadn't had a good rest that night cause I am worried for him. However, think on the bright side, at least I am seated next to him to alarm him on time. And at least he will be more aware now when he is driving. Like what my DD always say - "character building". What ever has happen will make him a better driver. I must admit since after this incident, I feel tense when I'm in his car. But I am sure I just need time to get over it and will get use to his driving style. And I'm sure he will improve everyday cause he is my DD. I have 100% faith and trust in him. :-D

Sunday was ok. Suppose to go swimming in the morning but I slept late. And we went to Yishun for lunch and it started to rain. So we walked around Yishun and went home after that to enjoy relaxing Sunday afternoon. I try my best to make sure my DD is relax and happy. Glad to know that he told me he felt better today after watching F1 race with me. Another good news for me, Lewis Hamilton came in 4th position in the Bahrain race!! He did well!! Happy with the results.

Overall, things will improve everyday. I am sure! :-D

Sunny, hot, humid weekend

What a weekend!!! The weather is really hot and humid, the heat in the air makes me disorientated when I'm outdoor. But it's good, makes me want to stay at home and just rest. :-) However, I did do something nice this weekend.

I managed to meet up with a "long-time-no-see" friend on Saturday. It's been like 10 yrs since we have seen each other after I graduated from poly. I met up with him to go shopping for his office clothes in Orhard and it was really great to see that he has moved to a new role/ position and I'm sure he will excel in this line. He was nice enough send me down to YCK tennis court even though he is stay in the West side. Still a great nice guy. :-)

After my meetup with my "long-time-no-see" friend, I met my DD at YCK tennis court. My DD looked tired but I can see that he enjoyed the lesson and he is not as stressed/ fustrated few days ago. Good for him. We went for house-warming which I totally forgot (two couple staying next to each other in the same block). Good thing he remembered! Haha! It was a nice gathering.

Today (Sunday) we went to have brunch at the market near his place. Feels like "war". There were long queues and food were selling fast. However, we did managed to eat something despite the fact that my DD didn't managed to eat the "famous" prawn noodle (long slow queue). We went to wet market to get "African" apples for his Dad. First time I heard there was "African" apples selling in Singapore. After that, we went back to his place and did some planning for Melbourne trip and watch F1 at Shanghai. Rest and relax Sunday. Hamilton did well today - came in 6th position and his team mate came in 5th place! It was a wet race and a lot of drama! Enjoyed it a lot. :-D

Next week will be stationed at Jurong East. I think I will be taking a cab in the morning. Hahaha!!! New challenges tomorrow. Go girl!

JP Morgan Run - I didn't run but it was fun....

Today was the JP Morgan run and my company was part of the companies participated in this run. I was tasked to take photos for our runner. We left office ar 4.45pm and took a train down to city hall and walked to Esplanade Bridge where the starting point was. This was my 1st time going for such things cause usually I would avoid crowds but not today. Today I was in the mood to mingle with the colleagues and to show my support for them. :-)

The run started at 6.10pm and I walked down to the end point with few of my colleagues who were not running. Walked pass the flyer for the 1st time and I must say it look spectacular. The finish point was at the F1 pit-stop. When I enter the place, images of the F1 cars in the pit-stop immediately popped out in my head. So cool!! I can feel and imagine clearly how does it look like if the F1 cars where in there!! Cool!!!

I am happy that I went down despite a mild cramp. And I enjoyed the walk with my colleagues. too!! :-)

Somewhat Not Bad Easter Weekend

It's a Good Friday weekend. Thing are doing pretty well this weekend despite the unnecessary stress that I have giving myself. I went over to DD's place on Thurs evening and I came home on Fri morning (cause DD had to work on Easter Day, poor thing). I am suppose to meet a good friend from poly days but I can't go out cause I was feeling very down when I got home on Fri. Somehow on Fri, I feel anxious and can't control my thoughts (negative thoughts - mainly unnecessary worries). I couldn't get the courage to go out on my own. So I decided to stay at home so that I won't scared my friend if anything happens to him. I realised whenever I had anxiety or worry, I will feel my heart pumping hard and faster, my throat became dryer and my lower abs cramps, then I will feel headache, giddiness and a strong fear of fainting or becoming crazy will kick in. It is a very scary experience. However, I tell myself. All of these are tests for me. Test for me to become a stronger person. So I am accepting that things is who I am and I will be a stronger person after all these are over. I must have confidence in myself. *Go Girl!!!* So yah, Friday was kind of a confused, worried state.

On Saturday, things were much much better. I meet up with Weiliang, Michael, Jamie & Cheryl for buffet brunch at Meriteus Mardarin and Lijia joined us after that for movie. Brunch was good although I keep having the feeling that my heart was pumping harder for a few minutes on and off during the day. But I enjoyed that time with them. We made a trip down to Jamie and Cheryl's place. I thought it was really nicely decorated. I like their design. And Cheryl is giving birth soon next month. Really happy for the couple. :-D

We went for movies after that. We watched Fast and Furious 4 - It's not bad, a brainless show with cars and babes. My DD came to join us for dinner together and this is the 1st time I introduce him formally. I'm glad DD didn't feel out of place and managed to talk to my buddies. He can interact with them quite well and I am happy about that. We went for pool after dinner and had a great time there. It's been a long time since I have been playing pool with all of them. It was really fun. I stayed over at DD place on Sat. I was so tired that I fell asleep the moment I hit the bed. :P

Today is Sunday. I slept all the way till 10am. It was really a good sleep for this whole week. Suppose to go swimming today. But unsuccessful cause I was too lazy once again. Must try again next week. Hahaha. We did went out to run some errands - paid the remaining travel fees, went to buy pork floss for DD's dad at Chinatown and went to Funan to get DD's software. After that we just had a relaxing evening at his place watching the movie Australia. Overall, the weekend was good.

I must keep telling myself that everything that is happening to me is part of my life story that makes me a unique person. Whenever I start to have bad thoughts, I must tell myself this - Stop worrying!!! And enjoy life with my DD and my love ones. Life is too short to be worrying too much things!! When bad things happens, it's a test for me and I will pass whatever tests and be a stronger person!! I must trust myself!!!

The creator of the world of pink elephant

I went to my therapist today. He was the person who 1st gave me the idea of pink elephant. When I just started my therapy with him, the 1st thing he ask me to do - "Think of anything but the pink elephant", then the next question he asked me "What are you thinking now??". The pink elephant, of course. That was when I realised my mind is so easily affected by words, images. I begin to read more. Positive thinking is a very useful tool to use in our life. Everyone has it. Just that whether we use it more or less. Like for me, I use it less cause I am a worrier. My mind is programmed in such a way to worry about things. This has affected me and affecting me a lot. A little bit of discomfort in my body, I begin to worry and panic. It's is not healthy. That's why sub-consciously I developed this anxiety. In a way, it is good. It helps me to be more aware of my body, my surrounding now. But there is always a balance.

As I mentioned, I went to my therapist today. I had a panic attack yesterday. I suddenly lost control of my thoughts and fear that I will go crazy when I keep talking to myself in my mind that I will be fine. My therapist said "Everyone goes crazy everyone, you are too! That is why life is so interesting". He did a short hypnosis with me. I feel better and it's good to talk to him again. This time, the worry issue is a big thing. But I am sure I can overcome this. He told me to list down 5 things i don't want in my life and 5 things i want in my life. To keep a records of my positive thoughts. And to do something for others (total strangers) and the motto will be "To Others Matters". What he said is true. Life is too short to wory about thing. There are so many things to do in life. And rather than worry. Why don't we just live our life to the fullest? Makes sense. All I need to do is to reprogramme myself to live my life to the fullest and stop worrying. Glad and happy that I have gone to him to talk about my issues again.

Am I healthy??? Am I going to be alright???

Last month in March, I took the health screening test by my company. The screening test is to take around 10cc of blood and take your blood to do a series of tests such as your cholesterol, red/ white blood cells, hep. A & B etc. The lab called me on Fri and told me one of the tumor makers (CA 125) exceeds the normal level. This tumor maker is use as an indicator for ovarian cancer. I was terrible shocked and upset, and of course depressed and worried. I decided to check it out on the internet. And I found that CA 125 is an indicator of those who already had cancer whether their treatment is successful and an increase in CA 125 doesn't mean the person has cancer. An exceedance can also due to alot of reasons eg. menstration etc.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/ca-125/HQ00366

http://www.ovariancancer.jhmi.edu/ca125qa.cfm

http://www.medicinenet.com/ca_125/article.htm

My last year's results never show such exceedance also. The only thing I need to take care of is my cholestrol level. There are some excceedance. So I guess I need to monitor my food intake and need to exercise more. To be on the safe side, I think I will go for full body check up and also go to gynaecologist to do a checkup to have a peace of mind.

I am really happy that my DD is very supportive of me. Even though, Fri was a bad day for him and he was really in bad mood but I know he will stand by me. No matters anymore when you have someone who loves you so much and to know that he will be by your side no matter what.

I will be strong and positive. I'm still healthy now (at least I feel healthy) and I must spend my days be happy and not dwell about things that has not been confirmed yet. I'm definately will be fine. Healthy and happy.

Something to good and happy to remember for this weekend. I brought my DD to Farmart and to AustWine for dinner. We had a great dinner and he loves the pork knuckle. I am happy when I see my DD enjoying his food with my company.

Lovely Weekend - Back to the nature....

Friday 27th March 2009 - I didn't really meet my DD on Fri. But instead I accompany my mum to my cousin's wedding. It was boring. But for my mum's sake, so I have to go. I finally get to see older cousin's daughter. Her name is Xinyi. She is just 2 months old. Everyone's attention is on her. Not surprising. I finally survived the wedding and had a good rest on Friday night.

Saturday 28th March 2009 - My DD worked till 1pm. He woke up early to go to office so that he can meet me earlier on Sat. That's very sweet for him. I know he feels bad that he can't spend time with me on Sat and I know he is doing his best. I know. And I am happy that he is such a considerate bf. After lunch and a short rest, we decided to go to Hortpark around 4pm. It was hot and humid. But the park was really beautiful, there were lots of landscapes and plants. And beautiful flowers. The place is still under renovating but around 90% done. It's a great place to bring family along for walk, photo-taking, learning new plant species. Of course, my main motivation was photo-taking. We had a great time there. Spend about 2 hours and decided it was time for dinner. Both of us were hungry and decided to make a trip down to Bukit Timah Market.

I guess my DD was really hungry that day. He order laksa, chicken wing (4), satay (10 sticks) and carrot cake. And I had char kuay tao. A very sinful dinner. Luckily I went for my gym on Fri. After that we went back and had a good rest for the night.

Sunday 29th March 2009 - Bad stomache, must be last night's dinner. I had bad constipation the whole day. Nevertheless, we went down to Chinatown and we booked our tickets to Melbourne!!! Yippee!!! My holiday finally!! Really excited about this trip cause it's my 1st trip with my DD. I am very nervous and excited too! And also I can get to see that crazy "auntie" at Melbourne and she can see "007" too!! Hahaha! Definately I will enjoy this trip. Looking foward to it!!!

Overall, it was really a lovely weekend. Thanks DD for the wonderful weekend.

The Bridge Between Them

Parents!!! Dun really understand them. Especially mine! Both my mum and dad have stopped talking to each other since ...... I don't know when. It is a pain and fustrating for me to be stuck in middle of them. They refused to talk to each other and instead they got me to send message to each other when both of them are in the same room!!! Ridiculous and childish!! Mum get sarcastic and Dad act pitiful towards each other!! I am out of my wits!! I kinna feel for my Dad sometimes, and my Mum's sarcastism affects me. I will get worked up when she starts her sarcastism. Her remarks really affect me!! I must really cool myself down next time when I hear those remarks. To think on the bright side, I am the only communication bridge between my mum and dad. And I think it's something that I need to work on to try to understand and communicate with them. I think it's time now to do something for them and for myself for my personnal growth as well. A challenge 1stly to truely accept that this is the current situation and 2ndly, to try my best as much as possible to understand them. Oh well, this is part of life and part of learning process.

Am I Jinx??

I know that my World of Pink Elephant should just be for happy thoughts but the entry for today is slightly different. Not happy thoughts/moments but my agony and guilt. My DD got into another incident again today. He couldn't make stop at the traffic light in time and made a dash across the while the traffic light was red. There were two red light cameras on that road. Somehow, at the point of time, I was talking to him and he got distracted and forgot to reduce his speed when approaching the traffic light. We didn't know if red light cameras were for the side of the road that we were at or for the road on the other side. The agony of the unknown.

Somehow or rather, I just can't help feeling that the incident on Fri and today were all my fault. If my DD didn't come pick me up on Fri , he won't have bumped into another car. And today, I shouldn't have gotten so excited and keep talking to him while he was on the road. Seems like I can't get happy or excited when I'm in his car as this clearly will distract him. Or maybe I am actually a distraction for him? Am I a jinx? The feeling of guilt is very strong. I am trying hard to stay positive on this one. Trying very hard..... It's not just only the guilt. I also feel that I can't be of any help to him when such a thing happen. I feel so useless. I guess I need some time to get over these two incidents.

To think on the bright side, the two incidents will make my DD a better driver, hopefully to be able to calm himself down. I realised when he gets happy and excited (especially when I'm with him), I can feel he gets eagerness and strong desire to drive me around as he knows that I like to explore around different places to experience different sights and scenes of Singapore. However, this will often tend distract him. I guess both of us have to slow our minds and thoughts down. I forgot that he can read my mind and I can feel his thoughts. Unknowingly, both of us are trying to rush into things in order to fill our life with lots of good memories (maybe?).

Also he is unfamilar with the road conditions in Singapore, therefore such mistakes are unavoidable? I am trying my best to help him keep a look out for the road conditions (trying not to make it as if I'm nagging) but I just feel I'm not doing a good job. *sigh*

Things will definately be better, my DD's driving skill will improve definately. He will be a safer and more focus driver. And by then, hopefully he will enjoy better driving experience and I will enjoy the ride in his car. Enough of the unhappy thoughts. Time to get back to my world of happy thoughts (World of Pink Elephant).

I am really glad for my DD that he has a group of great supportive friends. Friends like Jason (his best buddy). Jason is a funny guy and can often brighten up my DD's mood with his humor. I am glad he has such a great friend to support him during his ups and downs.

Saw something nice today. Although the weather is kinna hot today but the sunset at my DD's place is really nice. Not the most spectacular sunset today (according to his mum) but it was really beautiful. Hopefully I can capture nicer sunset one of the days. Beauty of nature always cheers me up and brightens my day.

Minor accident, but All is Well!!!

My DD (LC) met up with a minor accident on Fri (20th). He got distracted and bumped into a Honda Civic in front of him at the traffic light junction. I was in the car and got a shocked. Before the accident, I was really happy to see him and he was trilled as well but after that "bump", the atmosphere in the car changed. I can understand how he was feeling at that time. Angry, pissed, worried, feel the "pinch" for the car (afterall it's only two weeks old, it's still new) etc. I don't know what to say to him at that time, all I can do is to keep the atmosphere positive and be understanding to him. I feel bad cause I thought if at that point of time, I keep an eye on the traffic for him probably such a thing would not happen. Anyway, the incident has happened so no point dwelling over it. I stayed over at him place in the end cause I know my pressence will comfort him a lot and it did. He felt much better today. I was happy for him and relieved. :D - It was only a MINOR accident.

He went for work today as usual because of project deadlines. It's good for me as I am able to rest on Sat. Lifestyle for me has changed a lot. No more busy and tight schedule instead relaxing weekend to find time for my family and myself. I like this. And occasionally, go out and do something different. Like today. After DD finished his work in office, he decided to drive around so he came up with the idea to go Old Airport Road for dinner. I am the "designated GPS" for him so I guided the way to the place but got lost somewhere at Eunos. Eventually, after looking that Street Directory, we found our way. I'm glad my DD has the patience and we can work simple things out like looking for directions to the place. *My impression is that men usually won't have the patience to wait for women to find the correct direction* I'm really glad.

At Old Airport Road market, my DD and I had this craving for satay despite the both of us are still recovering from our flu and sore throat. I enjoyed the dinner a lot. Almost forgot! I finally saw rainbow, just 5 mins before the sunset. It was a full rainbow and the colours were clearly shown in the sky! And best of all, I got to see it when my DD is with me! It was really great!!!

We went to Kallang Leisure Park after our dinner - to his favourite tennis shop and our favourite toyshop. We make our way back home after I bought my hot chocolate.

My DD told me today that he wanted to bring me out, just to drive around Singapore cause we have been staying at home the past few weeks. I am happy that despite his busy work schedule, with the unhappy incident that he met on Fri and he was not feeling well the whole week, he still thought of me and want to spend time with me. HAPPINESS!!! :D

Presents!!!

Really happy to receive presents from my ex-colleagues!!! It was a nice surprise and brightens up my day!!! :D

I am grateful to have found such great friends from my previous company.

Happy Birthday!!!

It's my 29th birthday!! And I am really happy to spend the day with LC. I stay over at his place from 6th to 9th Feb!! We watched movie - Bride Wars, went to the Science Centre and went to the Shangri-La for high tea. It was really very eventful weekend for me! But I have eaten a lot of food as well! Haha! Time to work out in the gym! I am really grateful that LC (despite his busy work schedule) accompanied me over this long weekend. My birthday wish this year - To stay happy, healthy and wishes my love ones will be the same too!

New start, new beginning, new life

It's been 2 months since I have log in. Here's the list of my happy moments. I finally find someone that I think who I will be spending my life with - LC. I feel safe, relax and secure with him. He has a very strong character, someone who believes himself strong and of course like typical man, he sometimes don't listen. Oh well, everyone has their own flaws. So I can't expect him to be 100% perfect. But I do like he loves me a lot and I loves him a lot too. I enjoy doing simple things with him. For example, staying over at his place whole day, just to spend time together with him. He taught me how to slow things down (which I am still trying to master). We are only 2 months together and we have a long way to go. And I will be preparing myself to learn to accommodate his flaws, re-adjust my mentality and I am sure we will have a very happy, loving life together. I truely believe this will happen someday. "Things will fall in place naturally"....