Hot humid weekend.....

It was really a hot and humid week! The heat in the air is driving me crazy.

Friday was relaxing and happy. Had a great dinner with DD at Thomas Road, a western place. Not expensive. We had mushroom fritters, salad, steak and ribs. Dinner was relaxing and good.

On Saturday, DD went for tennis in the morning and we went out in the afternoon for haircut at his "aunt's" place located near SMU. The place was nice and spacious. His aunt was friendly and this is my DD's first time going accompanying gf to a hair saloon. I felt honoured to be his "first" one. We had late lunch at Raffles place, did a short walk from Raffles to Suntec (where he parked his car). We headed back to his house after that. I guess my DD must be too tired that day. And he kinna doze off while driving back home along the highway. Luckily I noticed that the car was swaying to the side and I shouted for him. He was shocked and managed to get the car back on track. However, as the car was swayed to close to the barrier, the car was scratched badly. Good thing is that both of us were safe. Though I was traumatise, I tried not to show out in front of him cause I don't want to make him feel even worse. That evening, DD was in a very bad mood. I can understand how he felt. He must have been thinking that I could have been hurt and also must be blaming himself. And also he must have been thinking that he needs to spend money to re-paint the car. I hadn't had a good rest that night cause I am worried for him. However, think on the bright side, at least I am seated next to him to alarm him on time. And at least he will be more aware now when he is driving. Like what my DD always say - "character building". What ever has happen will make him a better driver. I must admit since after this incident, I feel tense when I'm in his car. But I am sure I just need time to get over it and will get use to his driving style. And I'm sure he will improve everyday cause he is my DD. I have 100% faith and trust in him. :-D

Sunday was ok. Suppose to go swimming in the morning but I slept late. And we went to Yishun for lunch and it started to rain. So we walked around Yishun and went home after that to enjoy relaxing Sunday afternoon. I try my best to make sure my DD is relax and happy. Glad to know that he told me he felt better today after watching F1 race with me. Another good news for me, Lewis Hamilton came in 4th position in the Bahrain race!! He did well!! Happy with the results.

Overall, things will improve everyday. I am sure! :-D

Sunny, hot, humid weekend

What a weekend!!! The weather is really hot and humid, the heat in the air makes me disorientated when I'm outdoor. But it's good, makes me want to stay at home and just rest. :-) However, I did do something nice this weekend.

I managed to meet up with a "long-time-no-see" friend on Saturday. It's been like 10 yrs since we have seen each other after I graduated from poly. I met up with him to go shopping for his office clothes in Orhard and it was really great to see that he has moved to a new role/ position and I'm sure he will excel in this line. He was nice enough send me down to YCK tennis court even though he is stay in the West side. Still a great nice guy. :-)

After my meetup with my "long-time-no-see" friend, I met my DD at YCK tennis court. My DD looked tired but I can see that he enjoyed the lesson and he is not as stressed/ fustrated few days ago. Good for him. We went for house-warming which I totally forgot (two couple staying next to each other in the same block). Good thing he remembered! Haha! It was a nice gathering.

Today (Sunday) we went to have brunch at the market near his place. Feels like "war". There were long queues and food were selling fast. However, we did managed to eat something despite the fact that my DD didn't managed to eat the "famous" prawn noodle (long slow queue). We went to wet market to get "African" apples for his Dad. First time I heard there was "African" apples selling in Singapore. After that, we went back to his place and did some planning for Melbourne trip and watch F1 at Shanghai. Rest and relax Sunday. Hamilton did well today - came in 6th position and his team mate came in 5th place! It was a wet race and a lot of drama! Enjoyed it a lot. :-D

Next week will be stationed at Jurong East. I think I will be taking a cab in the morning. Hahaha!!! New challenges tomorrow. Go girl!

JP Morgan Run - I didn't run but it was fun....

Today was the JP Morgan run and my company was part of the companies participated in this run. I was tasked to take photos for our runner. We left office ar 4.45pm and took a train down to city hall and walked to Esplanade Bridge where the starting point was. This was my 1st time going for such things cause usually I would avoid crowds but not today. Today I was in the mood to mingle with the colleagues and to show my support for them. :-)

The run started at 6.10pm and I walked down to the end point with few of my colleagues who were not running. Walked pass the flyer for the 1st time and I must say it look spectacular. The finish point was at the F1 pit-stop. When I enter the place, images of the F1 cars in the pit-stop immediately popped out in my head. So cool!! I can feel and imagine clearly how does it look like if the F1 cars where in there!! Cool!!!

I am happy that I went down despite a mild cramp. And I enjoyed the walk with my colleagues. too!! :-)

Somewhat Not Bad Easter Weekend

It's a Good Friday weekend. Thing are doing pretty well this weekend despite the unnecessary stress that I have giving myself. I went over to DD's place on Thurs evening and I came home on Fri morning (cause DD had to work on Easter Day, poor thing). I am suppose to meet a good friend from poly days but I can't go out cause I was feeling very down when I got home on Fri. Somehow on Fri, I feel anxious and can't control my thoughts (negative thoughts - mainly unnecessary worries). I couldn't get the courage to go out on my own. So I decided to stay at home so that I won't scared my friend if anything happens to him. I realised whenever I had anxiety or worry, I will feel my heart pumping hard and faster, my throat became dryer and my lower abs cramps, then I will feel headache, giddiness and a strong fear of fainting or becoming crazy will kick in. It is a very scary experience. However, I tell myself. All of these are tests for me. Test for me to become a stronger person. So I am accepting that things is who I am and I will be a stronger person after all these are over. I must have confidence in myself. *Go Girl!!!* So yah, Friday was kind of a confused, worried state.

On Saturday, things were much much better. I meet up with Weiliang, Michael, Jamie & Cheryl for buffet brunch at Meriteus Mardarin and Lijia joined us after that for movie. Brunch was good although I keep having the feeling that my heart was pumping harder for a few minutes on and off during the day. But I enjoyed that time with them. We made a trip down to Jamie and Cheryl's place. I thought it was really nicely decorated. I like their design. And Cheryl is giving birth soon next month. Really happy for the couple. :-D

We went for movies after that. We watched Fast and Furious 4 - It's not bad, a brainless show with cars and babes. My DD came to join us for dinner together and this is the 1st time I introduce him formally. I'm glad DD didn't feel out of place and managed to talk to my buddies. He can interact with them quite well and I am happy about that. We went for pool after dinner and had a great time there. It's been a long time since I have been playing pool with all of them. It was really fun. I stayed over at DD place on Sat. I was so tired that I fell asleep the moment I hit the bed. :P

Today is Sunday. I slept all the way till 10am. It was really a good sleep for this whole week. Suppose to go swimming today. But unsuccessful cause I was too lazy once again. Must try again next week. Hahaha. We did went out to run some errands - paid the remaining travel fees, went to buy pork floss for DD's dad at Chinatown and went to Funan to get DD's software. After that we just had a relaxing evening at his place watching the movie Australia. Overall, the weekend was good.

I must keep telling myself that everything that is happening to me is part of my life story that makes me a unique person. Whenever I start to have bad thoughts, I must tell myself this - Stop worrying!!! And enjoy life with my DD and my love ones. Life is too short to be worrying too much things!! When bad things happens, it's a test for me and I will pass whatever tests and be a stronger person!! I must trust myself!!!

The creator of the world of pink elephant

I went to my therapist today. He was the person who 1st gave me the idea of pink elephant. When I just started my therapy with him, the 1st thing he ask me to do - "Think of anything but the pink elephant", then the next question he asked me "What are you thinking now??". The pink elephant, of course. That was when I realised my mind is so easily affected by words, images. I begin to read more. Positive thinking is a very useful tool to use in our life. Everyone has it. Just that whether we use it more or less. Like for me, I use it less cause I am a worrier. My mind is programmed in such a way to worry about things. This has affected me and affecting me a lot. A little bit of discomfort in my body, I begin to worry and panic. It's is not healthy. That's why sub-consciously I developed this anxiety. In a way, it is good. It helps me to be more aware of my body, my surrounding now. But there is always a balance.

As I mentioned, I went to my therapist today. I had a panic attack yesterday. I suddenly lost control of my thoughts and fear that I will go crazy when I keep talking to myself in my mind that I will be fine. My therapist said "Everyone goes crazy everyone, you are too! That is why life is so interesting". He did a short hypnosis with me. I feel better and it's good to talk to him again. This time, the worry issue is a big thing. But I am sure I can overcome this. He told me to list down 5 things i don't want in my life and 5 things i want in my life. To keep a records of my positive thoughts. And to do something for others (total strangers) and the motto will be "To Others Matters". What he said is true. Life is too short to wory about thing. There are so many things to do in life. And rather than worry. Why don't we just live our life to the fullest? Makes sense. All I need to do is to reprogramme myself to live my life to the fullest and stop worrying. Glad and happy that I have gone to him to talk about my issues again.

Am I healthy??? Am I going to be alright???

Last month in March, I took the health screening test by my company. The screening test is to take around 10cc of blood and take your blood to do a series of tests such as your cholesterol, red/ white blood cells, hep. A & B etc. The lab called me on Fri and told me one of the tumor makers (CA 125) exceeds the normal level. This tumor maker is use as an indicator for ovarian cancer. I was terrible shocked and upset, and of course depressed and worried. I decided to check it out on the internet. And I found that CA 125 is an indicator of those who already had cancer whether their treatment is successful and an increase in CA 125 doesn't mean the person has cancer. An exceedance can also due to alot of reasons eg. menstration etc.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/ca-125/HQ00366

http://www.ovariancancer.jhmi.edu/ca125qa.cfm

http://www.medicinenet.com/ca_125/article.htm

My last year's results never show such exceedance also. The only thing I need to take care of is my cholestrol level. There are some excceedance. So I guess I need to monitor my food intake and need to exercise more. To be on the safe side, I think I will go for full body check up and also go to gynaecologist to do a checkup to have a peace of mind.

I am really happy that my DD is very supportive of me. Even though, Fri was a bad day for him and he was really in bad mood but I know he will stand by me. No matters anymore when you have someone who loves you so much and to know that he will be by your side no matter what.

I will be strong and positive. I'm still healthy now (at least I feel healthy) and I must spend my days be happy and not dwell about things that has not been confirmed yet. I'm definately will be fine. Healthy and happy.

Something to good and happy to remember for this weekend. I brought my DD to Farmart and to AustWine for dinner. We had a great dinner and he loves the pork knuckle. I am happy when I see my DD enjoying his food with my company.